Servant Leadership

When the apostle John wrote these words, he was dealing with a problem in a church in his region, in what we now call Turkey. Sadly, it’s a problem churches still face today.

We like to think that being part of a church means everything will be smooth and easy. But God’s plan for us is something deeper.

Getting in Shape Spiritually

We come into this world marked by original sin. We lack the ability to do what is right all the time, which is exactly what God wants for us, for His kingdom and His reputation, so that others may see there is a solution to the problem of rebellion against God.

God doesn’t force that solution on us. Instead, He leads us toward wisdom: wisdom that brings us to salvation, and wisdom that helps us keep growing as He makes us more like Christ. You could call it getting in shape spiritually.

Now, you might look at me and say I’m no expert on getting in shape. I used to be! But I know how it works. Physically, getting in shape comes down to two things: the right intake, and activity. You can find countless programs online promising instant results if you spend enough money, but in the end it comes down to what you take in and what you do.

There’s one difference, though. Physically, you can eat too much. Spiritually, you can’t. You can never take in too much of God’s Word.

The problem is that most Christians are happy to take in what God offers on their own terms. A disciple doesn’t get that option. The disciples followed Jesus on His terms. If He said they were going to Jerusalem, they walked two days from the Sea of Galilee. When He sent them out on a mission without their security blankets, they went trusting Him. John himself lived with Jesus for three years on Jesus’ terms, and he gained an extraordinary amount of wisdom.

So yes, we need the right diet: good teaching, time in God’s Word, Bible studies, and church. That also means rejecting the heresy that tells us what we want to hear. But we also need activity. If you’re not investing in the kingdom by doing something for God, something is wrong, and your spiritual fitness won’t improve.

Back to the First Century

There has long been a desire among Christians to return to the faith as it was in the first century, and I share that desire. We need to understand what Jesus taught His disciples and what those disciples did in their ministry.

That doesn’t mean we have to recline at the table the way they did, or sit on the ground to hear the Word taught. What matters is understanding why they shared the Lord’s Supper, and hearing the Word as they heard it.

In his letters, John confronted more than one problem. One was a philosophical trend that claimed that those with a special, secret knowledge formed an elite group, more spiritual than everyone else and closer to Jesus. Pride became a huge issue.

Into that atmosphere steps Diotrephes.

What Would You Pay?

Many people come to Rome to follow in the footsteps of Paul and Peter. That’s a wonderful pilgrimage. But speaking personally, as much as I would have loved to hear Peter and Paul in Rome, in those later years when most of the apostles had died, I would have paid whatever it took to get to Ephesus and hear John teach. I would have boarded any rickety ship or crossed any distance.

Imagine I could offer you a trip back in time to a week-long seminar taught by the apostle John (with a translator, of course). What would you pay for that? To sit at his feet, hear stories of walking with Jesus that never made it into the Gospel, and receive his counsel: Here’s what you need to do in this situation. Here’s what your church needs. I’d be taking notes on every word.

Diotrephes had that opportunity. John wrote personally to his church. And Diotrephes’ response was essentially, I’m not going to listen to that.

Letters of Recommendation

To understand what he did, we need to know a first-century practice.

Traveling teachers who had studied with the apostles carried letters of recommendation, signed by respected leaders like John, Paul, or Peter, or by the church in Jerusalem. They would travel to churches, present their credentials, and the church would welcome them, care for their needs, and let them teach.

And travel in those days was no pleasure. My wife and I like to complain about modern air travel: removing shoes and belts in front of strangers, walking through machines that photograph who knows what. But in the first century, there was simply no comfort in travel at all. These teachers endured real hardship so that the Word could spread as far as possible.

Now imagine a church searching for a pastor, and one of the candidates comes with a letter of recommendation from the apostle John himself. How many other résumés would you need to read? If John says this man is a good teacher, that would be enough for me.

Yet Diotrephes refused to welcome the teachers John endorsed. He wouldn’t receive them as guests, and he punished anyone who disagreed with him, putting them out of the church. He was on what we’d call an ego trip. Everything revolved around Diotrephes, and he was tearing the church apart.

A Man Who Refused Rest

We can’t psychoanalyze someone we’ve never met, but we can guess that Diotrephes’ life was full of tension, conflict, and struggle. Somehow he missed the invitation Jesus offers to all of us:

“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28)

Diotrephes refused that rest. He brought his stress, his attitude, and his driving ambition into the church, and cut himself off from every authority so that he alone would be in charge. That ultimately included God’s authority.

The Marks of Diotrephes

Much is being said today about abusive leadership, and much needs to be said. We don’t handle authority, admiration, or glory well, because those things belong to God. He entrusts us only with doing His will, not with taking His glory or usurping His authority.

Bible teacher Colin Smith has summarized what we see in Diotrephes:

• Selfish ambition. Nothing else mattered to him. The church could die as long as he got what he wanted.
• No respect for authority. He rejected John, whose writings have since transformed millions upon millions of lives.
• Malicious accusations. He spread evil words against others.
• Division. He cast people out and separated the church.

Gossip Is Poison

If you remember only one thing from today, let it be this: gossip is poison.

Walk past the shop windows here in Rome. Enormous talent goes into making those displays irresistible. You pass a bakery and can practically taste the pastries. Gossip is just like that. It looks so good and sounds so good. But it is poison.

Diotrephes was a gossip, and any of us can easily be drawn in. We have to be careful.

The Strength of the Rope

Think of a strong rope. If you pull it apart, you’ll find that every single strand is incredibly weak. You could break any of those tiny fibers with your bare hands. And if you’re spiritually wise, you’ll admit that you are like those strands too.

What makes us strong is the power of Jesus Christ living within us, and obeying His command — yes, command — to pull together and get to work.

One of the worst things Diotrephes did was divide people. There was him, the one in charge; there were his followers, “the good guys”; and there was everyone else, including the apostle John, who simply wasn’t acceptable. The irony is overwhelming. He was offered one of the greatest opportunities in history, to learn from John, and he rejected it because he rejected God’s authority.

We need to pull together in Christ: for our own survival, for our ability to serve, and for a world that needs us to truly be God’s people.

Gaius and Demetrius

But this short letter isn’t mainly about Diotrephes. It’s a very positive letter, addressed to a man named Gaius, who was eager to hear from John, ready to serve, welcoming to God’s people, and committed to advancing the kingdom even when things were hard. John also commends a man named Demetrius, who had a good testimony from everyone (3 John 12).

If you’re a Christian and glad to be one, you owe thanks to people like Gaius, Demetrius, and John.

Consider this. Today is November 8, 2026, almost two thousand years after John wrote this letter. Diotrephes had influence over a few people in one small area. But Gaius and Demetrius are still having an influence, right now, here in Rome, on people who have gathered from California, Oklahoma, Canada, Egypt, Australia, and beyond.

The world has been changed. People like Diotrephes have been overcome, because people like Gaius, Demetrius, and John responded to God’s authority and found that it was the best thing in their lives. They said, Yes, Lord. And there’s really no way to say, No, Lord. If we’re saying no, He isn’t Lord.

I thank God, and I thank these faithful believers, for responding so that I could hear the good news: there is a new life, a different life. And how long does it last? Forever.

Be Wise

So I hope you’re enjoying your life under God’s teaching and authority. But be aware that there will always be people who want to control you, for your money, your admiration, your obedience, or some other strange motive. There are wolves in sheep’s clothing (Matthew 7:15).

We need to be as wise as God can make us. But God is far more powerful than any of them, if we stay alert and don’t fall into the traps they have fallen into.

Follow not that which is evil, but that which is good.